Black Sheep
by AngryPurpleFire
Summary: Spock's bonding was less than perfect, but no one could have guessed the amount of damage it would cause.


It was not logical to be nervous, but despite that, it would be impossible to deny that it was indeed what he was feeling. Stalon tapped his fingers against the seat of the hover car. He was 26, well overdue for a bonding. His mate was to be of good standing, from the house of Surak no less, and in good health. It was odd for a young vulcan from such a prestigious house to be bonded to one from the clan of Durak, a much lower class standing, but from what he had heard, this Vulcan was not pure in the blood lines, was likely sterile, and had been denied bondmates from many pursued.

The vehicle slowed to a stop in front of a great tower. These cities were nothing like his home village. The ceremony itself was smaller than he expected. Stalon had come alone, his family unable to step away from the fields for even a day. His mate-to-be's party was quite small as well, consisting of an older man, a woman who was distinctly unvulcan, and another, younger man. The younger one, Stalon concluded, must be his mate.

"Greetings." T'Pau voice, despite her old age, is strong.

Stalon bent his head forward. "Greetings, dorli veh ( _honorable one)_. It is an honor to meet you."

The younger Vulcan stepped forward to stand beside T'Pau, seemingly avoiding Stalon's eyes.

"Spock, house of Surak," T'Pau said, popping the 'k,' "is your designated mate. Do you accept?"

Stalon hesitated, trying to catch the young one's eyes before giving a slight nod. "Yes, dorli veh. I accept Spock as my mate."

T'Pau turned to Spock, who seemed much more inclined to look at her. "Do you, Spock, accept Stalon, house of Durak, as your mate."

"Yes." The voice was hoarse and hardly audible.

It was clear Spock did not want to be here. Perhaps he was ashamed to be bonded to someone of such a low class. The thought did not please Stalon. Spock didn't even know him. How dare he pass judgement on him. It was then that he noticed the slight shake to Spock's hand. Finally, Spock looked up at him, and his eyes were filled with sorrow, fear, and resignation.

* * *

The ceremony itself was quick, and it was not long before he and Spock were alone in the hover car on their way to the new home Sarek had provided them with. Generally, Spock would of left with him to his village, but it seemed that that was not going to happen.

"You studied astrology at the Vulcan Science Academy, did you not?" Spock only nodded in response, making the creation of conversation quite difficult. "And your mother is human, no?" Spock stiffened at this, but said nothing in response. "I mean no insult. I was unaware as to the specifics of your genetic code until meeting you. Your mother appeared human, but there are many humanoid species across the universe."

Spock hesitated, refusing to look away from his own hands. "I… I was under the opinion that the interspecies-marriage between my parents and the birth of their half-breed son was common knowledge."

"Perhaps that is true in the cities. I came from T'Longdege, a small village in the far South. News does not always travel there." Spock only nodded in understanding.

* * *

The first night was, to use a human word, awkward. It is tradition to complete a marriage by consummating the bond, but from the way Spock had been acting, Stalon considered it unlikely to happen. When Stalon happened upon the bedroom, Spock was already under the covers. He appeared to be sleeping, but under further investigation, it was clear that he was in fact awake. Spock was shaking, more so than before, and his breathing was heavy and labored.

"Spock, are you well?" His eyes shot open, staring into Stalon's. They were filled with unadulterated fear.

Stalon slept in a spare bedroom that night.

* * *

"Stalon…" He turned to see Spock standing in the hall, hesitation written across his face

"Yes?" Stalon said, trying to speak softly to avoid frightening the man further.

"May I… visit my mother?"

It had been a week since the bonding ceremony, and Stalon had admittedly seen very little of Spock during that time. It wasn't as if he was leaving, Spock never left the house, but he always managed to find some hole to hide away in, avoiding Stalon at all cost.

"Of course, Spock. You may leave at any time." Spock attempted to hide the surprise in his face, but failed. Stalon gave a very un vulcan sigh and looked Spock in the eyes. "I understand that in Vulcan law, because it was your family that offered the proposal, you are mine to do with as I please. Please understand, Spock, that I have no desire to control the way you live your life. You may come and go as you please, you need not ask permission."

Spock nodded slowly, confusion still present. "May… may I take the hover car?"

"Of course. What is mine is yours. You may use it at any time."

Spock nodded once again and walked outside.

* * *

"How have you found your new bond?" The words were stiff. Despite her thin frame and short stature in comparison to himself, Stalon found himself illogically afraid of the human woman.

"Very well, ma'am. Your son has been a more than adequate partner." It wasn't entirely a lie. Stalon did not dislike Spock, but after two weeks, he had hoped to at least know more about the man.

"Is that so?" Amanda raised the glass of tea to her lips, taking a soft sip. "And has Spock found you to be an adequate partner?"

Stalon was admittedly startled by the question. "I… ma'am, to be completely honest, I am unsure." She didn't interrupt, instead allowing him to continue. "I do not believe he is content with the bonding. I understand that, being from the house of Surak, being bonded to a Durak must be insulting to his esteem in some manner or another. He also…" Stalon hesitated, "He appears to be… fearful. Of me. Perhaps I am misreading him, but-"

"You have a much better understanding of emotions than most Vulcans I have spoken to. Why is this?" Amanda interrupted.

"I am from a village much farther south from here. While we do practice to teachings of Surak, it is not as strictly taught as it is here. Instead of abolishing all emotion, we learned to control it. Expression is not desired, but it not strictly forbidden."

"I see. Tell me, what do you think of my son being half human?"

"I'm sorry?" Stalon questioned, confused.

"Do you see him human half as a disadvantage?"

"Do most?" Amanda didn't answer, instead settling to wait for further response. Stalon sighed. "It is my opinion that all species have positives and negatives. I, as a vulcan, have both the positives and the negative of being a vulcan. You, as a human, have the positives and negatives of being a human. Spock is both vulcan and human, and therefore has both the negative qualities of being a human and a vulcan. At the same time, however, he also has the positive qualities of both a human and a vulcan. To say that being half human is a disadvantage to him would be illogical, ma'am."

She smiled. "Please, call me Amanda."

* * *

Three weeks in and they still weren't sharing a bed. Neither one had yet to mention it.

It was late at night, the both of them had already gone to bed, separately, of course, when Stalon was abruptly awoken. He immediately vacated the bed, heading towards the sound of struggle, disturbed to see it was coming from Spock's room. He opened the door, expecting a fight, only to see it was empty apart from the sleeping form. Except he wasn't sleeping, was he? Spock was not still, instead kicking slightly under the covers. Horrible whimpers escaped his mouth.

Stalon was confused. He had never seen anything like this before. Was it some kind of seizure? Should he call for medical assistance?

"No… please…" Spock whispered, his voice fearful. "Please, don't… stop."

Stalon stopped, remembering what he had learned from his study of human behavior. This was a dream. Spock was dreaming. He had no idea dreams were no violent. From what he had read, dreams were supposed to be peaceful things.

"Spock?" Stalon attempted, stepping closer to him. "Spock, it's a dream." He couldn't stand to see Spock lay there, tortured by his own thoughts. He put a hand on Spock's arm, touching him for the first time since their ceremony.

Spock's eyes flew open, flinching away from Stalon's touch. His breathing was harsh, and tears fell from his eyes. "N-No, don't please."

"Spock?

"Please!"

"Spock, it's me. I'm not going to hurt you." Stalon stepped closer to the bed, and Spock struggled to get away, only to be stopped by Stalon's gentle but firm grasp. "Spock, you are breathing too fast, you need to bring yourself back to equilibrium."

"No! Stop! L-Leave me! Please…"  
"I will not leave you in this state. You may cause yourself harm. You need to breathe."

Several minutes passed and Spock's breathing did indeed slow. Stalon released his grip but did not move away from his position by the bed. The harsh breaths were replaced by hiccuping tears. Spock attempted to hide his face, but failed.

"I… I apologize." Spock stuttered a bit on the words, unable to keep his voice smooth.

"There is no need for apologies. From what I understand, what happened was not your doing."

Spock didn't say anything for a moment, still refusing to look up. "I have reached a state of control. I thank you for your assistance. You may leave me if you so wish."

"Do you wish to be alone?"

Spock didn't answer, which was as much of an answer as Stalon needed.

And so he stayed.

* * *

"May I make an inquiry?" Stalon asked, finding himself once again sat across from his bondmate's mother.

"Yes, of course."

"Vulcans in the house of Surak, and other high class clans, are bonded as children, no?" Amanda nodded. "Yet Spock was only just bonded at the age of 23. Why is that?"

Amanda stared into her tea for several seconds. "Spock was bonded at the age of seven. That bond was dissolved eight months ago."

"Dissolved? Yet their minds were compatible?"

"They were compatible yes, but Spock's bondmate… disapproved of his heritage."

"He dissolved the bond after 15 years because of a fact he knew from the beginning?"

"He did not dissolve the bond. The council did."

Stalon continued, confused. "I don't understand. The vulcan council rarely involves themselves in domestic matters except for when a bondmate is declared unsafe…" He stopped, listening to his own words over again in his head. "Spock's bondmate… harmed him?"

"It's not my story to tell, Stalon." Amanda sipped her tea. "I have faith, however, that history will not repeat itself."

"No. No it will not."

* * *

"May I sit next to you?" Stalon asked Spock, who was sitting cross-legged on the livingroom couch, book in hand.

It was a big step, really; the fact that Spock was here and not hiding away in some other corner of the house. Spock looked up quickly, before looking away, giving a slight nod. Stalon sat, making sure that, despite their closeness, they weren't actually touching.

"Why did you leave the Vulcan Science Academy?" Spock froze at the question. "I mean, from what I've always heard, it's one of, if not the best scientific academies on Vulcan. It's quite an honor to be accepted."

Spock didn't say anything for awhile, and when he did speak, his voice was soft and timid. "I was… forced to leave."

Stalon hesitated, knowing this was shaky territory. "By your bondmate."

Spock didn't react how he expected. He didn't jump up and run away. Instead he sat their quietly, not saying a word. A minute passed. "Yes."

"Would you like to go back?"

Spock closed his eyes. "Yes."

"Why have you not reapplied?" Stalon already knew the answer, and it was only confirmed when Spock turned slowly to look at him. "I have no qualms with you returning to the academy. As I said before, you may do what you wish with your life. I have no desire to control you."

They sat together in silence for several minutes. "Thank you."

* * *

"Would you desire a meld?" The words came so quickly out of Spock's mouth, he could barely understand him.

"What?" Stalon was shocked, having given up on ever melding with Spock many weeks ago.

This appeared to be the wrong answer as Spock immediately began to panic. "We do not need to meld. I merely wished to offer. We don't have to. Bonded partners tend to… but we don't have to-"

"Spock." Stalon approached him, trying to ignore the way Spock unconsciously stepped back. "Melding with you would bring me great pleasure. I am merely concerned. Are you certain you wish to do this."

Spock gave a stiff nod. "I have not treated you favorably since our bonding to no fault of your own. I wish to give you an explanation, but I… I do not know if I will be able to tell you with words."

"You owe me no explanation, Spock."  
"Nevertheless, I wish you give you one." Spock took a step towards Stalon.

"You do not have to do this."

Spock closed his eyes. "Please. I want to."

Stalon sighed, placing his hand on Spock's meld points. "My mind to your mind."

* * *

The meld left him with more questions than before. Questions like 'What happened?' were answered but viciously replaced with 'How could someone do that?'

He was shown a younger, more innocent Spock. One who had been shut off from the rest of the world. One who lived in constant fear of the person who was meant to protect him. The imagery was painful to watch. The physical brutality was ruthless. The isolation left him with no one to turn to. The moment Spock turned twenty and went to live with Stonn alone, his life fell apart.

Two years. Two years of constant pain and fear. Two years until Amanda finally had enough of Stonn refusing to let her see her own son and Sarek intervened. Two years until he was discovered; thin, bruised, and broken.

One thing was certain. Spock would never feel such pain again.

* * *

It was another nightmare, likely brought on by the meld, but this time, Stalon was there from the beginning. He held Spock as he cried, because instead of fear, Spock felt comfort from him. Perhaps that was a side effect of the meld as well. Stalon got Spock's story, and Spock got Stalon's essence, and for the first time since their bonding, Spock knew he was safe..


End file.
